The best sex advice you will get is a pretty standard topic for an adult website. Why is that? Because what most of us really want, at the end of the day, is the mind blowing sex we’ve been promised. Television and movies make great sex seem so easy to come by but in reality a lot of us find our early sexual encounters pretty underwhelming. While it seems like people in their twenties should be having orgasmic sexual encounters left right and centre, seeing as how the opportunities are out there, casual sex often leaves something to be desired. How can that be? Are we all still slut shaming ourselves into poor sex and ending up with buyer’s remorse?

Not exactly. The problem with sex in your early twenties, or even when you’re older, is a sense of ownership. We are trying to own our sexuality but how many of us successfully own our bodies? Do we all really know what we like and what we are doing? How many men and women claim that their sex lives improved after thirty because they finally felt at peace with their sexuality? When you know what you want, you get what you want and when you’re comfortable with who you are you’ll get the sex you think you deserve.

So the secret to great sex? Know and love your body. Make self-love a priority and never let anyone make you feel ashamed of looking out for yourself in the bedroom. It’s easier said than done though, right? You can’t just wake up and decide that you’re a sexually confident being who knows exactly what they want. So how can you get there?

Exploration. This means both mental exploration and physical exploration.

Mental exploration should take place by examining how you feel about your body when it comes to sex. How do you feel about the way you look and the things you like? Do you have any hang ups when it comes to being sexually expressive? You need to figure these questions out before you have any chance of overcoming them and obtaining the mind blowing sex you’re after. Make peace with who and what you are and great sex will follow, assuming you also follow the next piece of advice.

Physical exploration is something that men are very good at but a lot of women shy away from. Newsflash ladies: what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If he’s doing a little ‘self-experimentation’ then why shouldn’t you? Women who masturbate regularly are more likely to achieve orgasm during sex. This is because it can take a little time to work out what is the most stimulating for you. Vaginas can be complicated. Some need a gentle touch and others like it rough. Some work best with clitoral stimulation and others need full penetration to get anywhere at all. Think about having sex with a new person like teaching someone how to drive. You’re not going to be a very good instructor if you don’t know how to drive the car and the experience is going to end up more stressful than pleasurable.

Figuring out what you like in the bedroom is the best piece of advice for great sex. Experimenting in private with toys like the We-Vibe will give you a better idea of what feels good and might even end up being something you can introduce into sexual encounters with a partner. Sex starts with experimentation and to keep things hot, it should never stop.