Sex with a stranger can be kind of exciting. There’s no real need for sex to be emotional and complicated. It’s perfectly fine to fuck someone and run, assuming all parties were aware of the nature of the encounter. Having said that comparing casual sex to the more intimate kind is a bit like comparing apples and muffins; one really isn’t a substitute for the other no matter what the latest diet craze might try to have you believe. So if your sexual diet has been a lot more apples (easy to get but of varying quality) than muffins (warm and always comforting) lately, here’s how to make things a little more intimate.
Now intimacy is usually reserved for couples unless you want to run the risk of making things a bit complicated with your FB or FWB, but if you think you can handle intimacy without commitment then by all means try this advice. Intimacy is something people generally need at some point in their lives and sex is just one of the ways to get it… Although let’s be honest it’s a super effective way to speed up the process!
If you want your sex life to be more intimate start by communicating that wish with your partner and getting them on board. You really can’t have emotionally fulfilling intimacy when only one person is trying it out. You’d be surprised by how much more intimate sex becomes just by talking about being more intimate.
Don’t forget that intimacy isn’t just about actions, it’s about feelings. Set the mood. This doesn’t have to mean roses and candles – romance is not the same as intimacy. An intimate couple isn’t afraid to laugh or fool around in the bedroom. Real intimacy doesn’t mean you’re trying hard to be sexy. Real intimacy is when you can both just be you.
Intimacy and trust go hand in hand. You really can’t be intimate with somebody you don’t trust and that doesn’t just mean trusting them with your Facebook password. It means trusting them to experiment with you without judging you or making you feel awkward. Sharing sex toys can be an intimacy building exercise, especially if you are using them on one another. It takes trust to let your partner be in control of your body. For a fun experiment why not let your partner tie you up and have them use a toy to pleasure you. The more kinky couple might even like to have the woman wear something like the we-vibe four in public and have the man secretly stimulate her. It’s one hell of an exercise in public intimacy!
Movies might like to make intimacy look like this silent connection full of longing stares and sighs and sometimes it can be. Eye connection while having sex is a sure fire way to make you feel more connected to your partner, especially if you are thinking of slowing things down and making the session last. But talking during sex is also a sign of intimacy. Well, maybe not dirty talk or questions about whose turn it is to get groceries, but pet names and other endearing phrases can certainly increase your bond in the bedroom.
Sexual intimacy sometimes needs to be cultivated. A connection with the right person will naturally build over time but there are definitely things you can keep in mind to help move it along. Just remember that what’s considered intimate is going to be different for different couples so the main thing is to figure out what makes you and your partner feel that warm fuzzy glow that has nothing to do with orgasm!